Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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