Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
