the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You took a bar mat shot.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
