Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
