using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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