We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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