just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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