Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
