So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
