Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
