Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
