we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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