I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
