i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
