By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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