At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
