Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
