I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
