careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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