the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
