It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
