You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
