...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
