Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
