I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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