are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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