Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
