She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
