Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
