he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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