what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
