I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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