How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
