I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
