I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
