Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
