Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
