I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
