sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
