I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
