I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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