Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she peed on how many people?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
