dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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