there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
