DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
