is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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