Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
