Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
