so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
