I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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