Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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