Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
