So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
